We all Journey Differently

I've been thinking lately about the things that motivate us, and I've come to realize that it is always different, and always depends on the situation.



I do a lot of things for my husband and my children.



I also do a lot of things in order to be financially secure. Our goal is to be completely debt free in the next 10 years (house included).



These are goals that for some seem totally un reachable, and for others shouldn't even be goals because financial freedom is on lock down. It's done. It's never been a problem.


The point that I'm trying to make is that we all journey differently.


I was once told that no matter how hard I try, I was never going to be everyone's cup of tea. Why? because I'm me, and I have my strengths and my weaknesses, and those just are not going to jive with everyone out there. That's okay though.


Dita Von Teese once said the following, "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches."


Go figure, right?


I can be the best me, and it just isn't going to cut it for everyone out there.


That's the approach that I take in terms of the business that I run too. You know what? Pure Romance may not be for everyone. There are going to be folks who assume that all I do is sell naughty things. They will judge me. They will assume that what I do is frivolous.


That's okay.


Just because they don't take the time to see how much I actually help women, doesn't mean that I don't make a difference in their lives. For some, it's leaving a bad relationship. For others, it's getting in touch with their bodies after children, or menopause, or cancer. For others still, maybe it's about finding out what they want, and how to communicate that to a partner.


In any case, it's different for them, and it's different because it's me.


So my plea to everyone who might read this blog is this: find something that makes you a better person, and go for it. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks!

Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,


It may come as a surprise to many that you won. It doesn't necessarily surprise me because for years we have been looking for a non-politician to hold this office. You are a business man, and a project manager, and I am interested in seeing what you can bring to the table.

That being said, it is time to live up to your campaign statements... You know, the ones about making America great again. I suppose if you live up to your words, then there will be no room for people to truly feel disdain for your presidency.

Please don't try to be a politician. Be a business man.


As you enter this new project, remember that this will take years to complete. Remember that you are laying a foundation for growth, not rushing to build cheap retail space.


Remember that you are putting the Trump name on everything that you do, and this will have an incredible impact on your personal brand.


Remember that now your employees are all of the citizens of this great Nation, and that they have put their faith in you as the Nation's newest CEO.


Remember that great companies care for their employees more than their bottom line, and by keeping the employees happy, you keep the company in the black.


You must find a way to bring two extremes within a company together. You need to unify, which means you need to give more than you can take.


Don't focus on changing everything all at once. There is a saying about a dog who chases multiple balls never getting any of them, and I feel that that is probably true here as well.


Allow science to continue to progress. Allow people to be treated as individual people, deserving of rights and respect, rather than as a demographic. Don't worry about what will make you a popular choice. Concern yourself with truly leaving the US a better place than what you started with.


There is a great opportunity here. Make American great again, sure... but also, make America kind again. Make it a great place to raise a family again. Make it a place where you can chase your dreams again.


Make true the promises that will better the people. Listen to the people, they are the ones who elected you.


God Bless.

Laundry for 2 Cents Per Load

I've been experimenting intermittently with home made laundry detergent and fabric softener for a few years and now that we have been able to purchase a home, I can really see the benefit of doing things on the inexpensive side. 

That being said, I've tried a few different recipes now, and have done a little bit of concocting of my own, and have come to realize that the method matters.

Many of the "recipes" that you will see online are really similar, or exactly the same but with differing steps. So what is it that makes one recipe work extremely well, and another crash and burn? I've decided that it is the way that you go about doing it. There are some timing issues that can arise that will change your results dramatically.

So without any more delay, here are my tried and true recipes for laundry detergent and fabric softener.

What you will need for the Detergent: All of these can usually be found on the laundry aisle in any store.

Sprite and Coke not necessary. Just a perk for my little helper and me.

1 bar of Fels Naptha Soap
1 Cup of Washing Soda (not baking soda)
1 Cup of Borax
4 Cups of Water
2-1 Quart Mason Jars- the normal mouth makes step 8 easier but wide mouth can be used as well.

Step 1 pour the 4 cups of water into a pan on the stove and bring to a boil.

Step 2 combine washing soda and borax in a bowl and set to the side

Step 3 shred the bar of Fels Naptha soap (a food processor works best at this point)

Step 4 once the water has come to a boil, add shredded Fels Naptha and stir until all of the soap has melted. This should take a few minutes, and should be done at a simmer or a slow rolling boil to ensure that all of the soap melts properly.

Step 5 Remove pan from heat and add Borax/Soda mix. Stir until completely dissolved. This will take 3-5 minutes. The mix will feel grainy at first, but will no longer be grainy against the bottom of the pan when this is done.

Step 6 pour the mix equally into 2-1 quart mason jars.

Step 7 add water until the liquid hits the bottom of the shoulders (the curves at the top of the jar). Screw on a lid and turn upside down to rest. Resting will take 4-5 hours. The layers of soap will separate, and become very thick.   **If you are making both the detergent and the softener, this is a good time to work on the softener**

 Step 8 blend the mixture. If you are using the normal mouth lids, it is likely the blender blade will fit directly onto the jar and will make this very easy.

Step 9 Once this is done, the mixture will be sort of fluffy, and is ready to use. It will probably fill both 1 quart jar plus 1 pint. One Tablespoon will do an entire load of laundry. For top loading washers, just dump it in while filling the tub. For front loaders, add in all of the clothes, and then put the TBSP of detergent in the drum with the clothes, and start your load.  :)

What you will need for the Fabric Softener:

1 Cup of Suave Conditioner- Any scent that you prefer
1.5 Cups of White Vinegar
5 Cups of Water
2-1 Quart Jars

Step 1 mix all of the ingredients together. DO NOT SHAKE!! It will foam up and give you problems.

Step 2 After mixing, pour into 2-1 quart jars

Step 3 add 2 Tablespoons to your wash in the softener dispenser.

Yes, this recipe really is that easy!

Enjoy!

Count Your Blessings, and Store Your Food

It may not be a big deal for everyone, but this marks a new success for my little family. Up to this point, food storage for us was what was in our fridge and our cupboards upstairs.

2 years ago when I was pregnant with my second boy, My husband was laid off. We were ill-prepared for the six month job search to come, and ended up relying heavily on the LDS church's welfare program, due to the fact that our money in savings was enough to barely help us scrape by with our bills.

It was a trying time for us.

Fast forward to now. Tonight I started stocking our food storage pantry. No it's not perfect, but it's a start.

Between John's job now and my small business we are able to cover our bills, put money away in savings, pay off some big debts AND build our emergency preparedness supply.

I am so grateful that we are in this position now. The great thing is when we want something, we can have it because when I work, I earn, and I can do as much or as little as I want. What a blessing!

I am excited to announce, that I am putting an extra emphasis on our emergency preparedness, and I'm going to include quite a bit of it here in my blog posts. 

Yay! Right?

5 Reasons to be More Intimate More Often

I recently read an article in the Huffington Post, and although it's not my go-to publication, this particular article really stuck with me.

It started out by telling the story of a teenage girl a few years ago sitting for a manicure. Although she had taken a book with her (who can hold a book while getting a mani? I need to learn to do this.) she was drawn to the conversation of two women a few years older than her talking about "IT."

They spoke of how by the end of the day they were too tired, too drained, or just not in the mood for IT. Yes, by IT, I mean sex.

I was instantly able to relate to the two married women. Clearly this teenager just didn't understand. When you are at home at the end of a busy day, the last thing you want to do is try to be sexy, right?

She recounted as a teenager thinking that she would NEVER be in this situation. When she got married, sex would be common. She would never say no, nor would she want to.

She fast forwarded a few years and found herself exactly where these two women had been. She had had a child, and admittedly felt lackluster in the nude. Having a child was leaving her tired every day. She was in that boat, and I was identifying all over again.

Tired.

Not Feeling Appealing.

Unsure of how to approach the situation...

I think we all find ourselves at this crossroad at some point.

As I read the article, I remembered thinking of the excitement that I placed on sex as a teenager as well. It was unknown, but it had to be AMAZING if I wasn't supposed to do it until I was married right? It was exciting thinking of what it might be like. I got married, and it was exciting. It was frequent. It was fun.

Cue our second pregnancy. Hormones, and a toddler have a way of really draining you. Add the stress of being a full time student, and a leader in an Army medical unit, and I was the epitome of the worn-down woman. By the end of the day, I barely had the energy to make dinner, much less be in the mood.

I remember one day thinking that I had to change this circumstance. So I did some research, and I found five big reasons to be intimate more often. So here they are:

1. You're still a woman! Being a mother can leave you feeling less feminine. From sacrificing your full beauty routine, to wondering what on Earth is on your shirt, it is easy to lose sight of what makes a woman beautiful. There is something however that makes you feel feminine again about kissing your partner. So taking a few minutes to kiss each other at the end of a busy day, can surely add to the mood of intimacy in your home. It may not lead to sex every night, but that is okay. So put the kids to bed and spend some time with the person that can give you those butterflies again.

2. He's still a man! It's really pretty simple. For a man to feel loved he needs very little. Make him dinner, be appreciative, and sex him up from time to time, and it's really pretty simple. Commit to this for a couple of weeks, and add in some nightly make out sessions, and you will be amazed at how much happier the two of you seem. You'll wonder how you let the intimacy get away from you in the first place.

3. You need time for the two of you! Are you noticing how all of these build on each other? Once you have committed to spending a few minutes together, it will be much easier to budget more actual time for the two of you. It will seem less like a chore and more like a break. Remember that guy that lit your fire, that left you notes, and didn't ever fail to call when you needed him to? Well, he is still the one that sends shivers down your spine, and makes your hands sweaty before a night out. You just have to give him the time to do it. So set aside a night each week. Call the sitter and head out, or put the kids to bed and stay up late together. Take time to talk about things other than bills and scheduling and I promise you won't regret it.

4. Sex relieves stress! Enough said right? How good do you feel after a roll in the hay? It's really an activity that speaks for itself AND it's something that there are plenty of ways to switch it up if you are looking for something new.

5. It's fun! Barring a few manageable complications, sex is fun. We often do the things that we HAVE to do, and neglect the things that we WANT to do. Giving yourselves permission to be sexual again is HUGE in sustaining, or rekindling that fire. For the moments when things don't go as planned in the bedroom, there is always a solution, whether it be changing the kind of lubricant you are using, or learning more about a new position before trying it again, there is a work around, and there shouldn't be any shame in trying something and having it not work out quite right. Trying something new is part of what makes it so FUN right?

So whether you are at the point where maybe it's just a dry spell (totally normal in marriage by the way--plenty of studies support that) or it's been a long cold winter, there is always a way to turn it around. It doesn't necessarily have to start with mind blowing sex. Maybe it starts with just a kiss.

The point here is it's doable, and we DESERVE it!

***If you are having a hard time figuring out where to start, please trust me with your questions. As an advocate for Women's Health and Sexuality, my goal is to keep married women married, single women safe, and all women empowered. I welcome the conversation, and will do everything I can to guide you in the right direction.***

Photo Credit to Shea Drake Photography

Common Misconceptions

After reading a friend and sister consultant's post, I really identified, and I don't think it could have been said any better. So here it is. Thanks, Dani!

Since starting my business with Pure Romance, I've received all kinds of responses ranging from "Good for you!" to awkward silence and quick topic changes ;) It's obvious that what I'm doing is considered taboo, for whatever reason, and I've decided to put to rest the 3 most common misunderstandings people have that make it so.

I'd like to start by answering the simple question: "WHAT IS PURE ROMANCE?" 

Pure Romance is basically a traveling boutique with superior quality, pharmaceutical grade products for women's health, beauty, and intimacy needs. Women host parties and welcome me into their homes where I present products and offer information/education regarding their physical and sexual health. 

Common misunderstanding #1: Pure Romance parties are naughty parties. False. Sure, the topics at hand make it easy for such parties to become "naughty," but generally speaking, Pure Romance parties are comfortable, enjoyable, and entertaining for all guests. Do we talk about sex? Yes we do. We promote sexual health and self confidence, not promiscuity. I assure you, we keep it real and appropriate and everyone goes home with their clothes on ;) 

Common misunderstanding #2: Only kinky women attend Pure Romance parties. False. Pure Romance is for all women. Young and old, married and unmarried, Pure Romance has something for any woman who cares about her health, beauty, and/or intimacy. 

Common misunderstanding #3: As a consultant, I'm a salesperson. Mostly false. Obviously I have products I'm selling, but that's not why I started my business. Can we all agree that a marriage will suffer if intimacy is an issue? That considered, I believe that the products and information I share in my parties will improve intimate relationships and in turn strengthen marriages and reduce divorce. I love the opportunity I have to educate and empower women and I cherish the relationships I'm creating with women who trust me enough to ask questions and confide in me. I do not consider myself a salesperson, I consider myself a coach, confidant, and friend. That is the #1 reason I started my business with Pure Romance; selling is only a bi-product of it. 

I'm proud to be part of Pure Romance and I love what I do. And that's a wrap!

How do I start setting goals?

Time and time again I have set goals at the beginning of the year to:

• lose a few pounds
• eat healthier food
• be a better person
• better manage time for my business 
• etc, etc, etc.

I never imagined that all of these goals would be intertwined. 

For instance, did I realize that I could be a much nicer person if I wasn't worried about what everyone thought I looked like? No, I didn't, BUT now I do. 

So here's the deal. I want you to make a list. Make a list of the 10 most important things for you to do in the next few months.

Seriously... Make a list! Right now. The rest of this post won't help you if you don't make the list.

Got it? Now look at your list of 10, and see if one of those goals would unlock any of the others. Example: Is one of your goals to lose weight? Yes? Is another to eat healthier? Yes? there you have it, eating healthier would help you lose weight for sure. 

So take a good hard look at your list which on of those goals unlocks the most potential for reaching the rest of them? 

Let's call this the key goal. 

Now that you have your key goal, write it out like it is something you already do. Is your goal to read a new book every month? Rewrite it as, "I read a new book every month." Saying it like it is already true helps you commit to actually doing it. 

Why? Because you feel good saying that you accomplish your goals. Think about it: which makes you happier? "I go on a date with my spouse at least once per week" or "I want to go on a date with my spouse once per week." Stating that you have accomplished your goal gives you a quick glimpse into what it will feel like to achieve that goal.

Now, here is the BIG commitment. Put it out there. Don't tell yourself alone about your goals. Letting yourself down is not nearly as bad as other people knowing you didn't meet a goal. So find three people who you trust with your goal, and tell them in the next 4 hours what your goal is, and give yourself a deadline.

Finally, work at it! Don't just set the goal and do nothing. Keep yourself accountable. Write your accomplished goal down and put it somewhere you will see it! 

It's okay to be "that mom"

2016 is proving to be an interesting year already. From buying a new home and moving into it, to finding out the gender of our sweet baby #3 (Due in early August, but most likely appearing in July) it's been busy.

My two home based businesses (JJ Knowles Photography, and Pure Romance by Jenn) are taking off and I couldn't be happier for that. I'm only 2 more semesters from graduation with a double bachelor's degree, and my two boys are growing like weeds! I just can't believe that this little slice of Heaven is my life. It gets very hectic at times, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I know that I am definitely biased, but I have the world's best husband, and the cutest kids. *sigh* For what this life is, this is perfection.

**Warning, shamelessly cute family picture in 3..2..1**

Of course there are the moments that I am that mom. You know the one who hasn't showered in a day or three, walking around in sweatpants and a t-shirt at Wal-Mart with a screaming child in the cart because he just fell asleep and smacked his forehead on the handrail in front of him (this literally happened 48 hours ago). I think we all get our chance to be that mom, and that is okay. It's a right of passage, and the one thing that unites all of momdom. Because no matter who it is that gets to be that mom, all of the others know where she is coming from, and that smile that you get in the store, it's not pity. It is the deepest understanding. It is the recognition that we have all been there and done that, and that, in the words of my mom "this too shall pass."

It amazes me each and every day though that any of us make it as mothers. With all of the judgement in the world, and contradicting studies that PROVE that every single one of us are wrong, it can be hard to decide how to raise a child. The struggle that goes into trying to make the best decision easily rival the struggle to decide what college to attend, or what profession to train in. These decisions impact the way that your children will see the world. They shape their actions for the rest of their lives. It's a huge deal that will weigh heavily on your mind long after the decision at it's implications are made. Raising a child is hard. Don't think for a moment it isn't. So to all of the struggling moms, I salute you!

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of moms on social media putting their best foot forward, and writing award winning blogs, or DIY-ing EVERYTHING in their home, while at the same time cloth diapering their children and never raising their voice. To those moms... kudos, and when you figure out how to bottle that, please let me know so I can borrow the recipe. The thing that I have learned though, is there is always someone "better" than each of us, that has the energy to wake up before the kids, and look perfect throughout the day, and have a sparkling home that doesn't show the tell-tale signs of children residing there, BUT we probably aren't seeing everything they are facing.  The snap shots on social media are just that. they are snapshots, glimpses, a glamour reel if you will. They don't show the whole story. So don't beat yourself up when you don't measure up to someone's "perfect" facade.

At the end of the day we each take off our make up (if we managed to put any on-I often don't) and take apart our reflection in the mirror. We dwell on the imperfections, and we struggle with the debate over whether or not we could have made a better choice during the day, or whether our actions will be the topics of our children's therapy sessions for years to come.

The advice that I can share for each of us, is just to cut ourselves some slack, because when we learn to cut ourselves some slack, we are much less likely to judge that mom. Because really... what does that even accomplish?

Stick with it momdom!