How do I start setting goals?

Time and time again I have set goals at the beginning of the year to:

• lose a few pounds
• eat healthier food
• be a better person
• better manage time for my business 
• etc, etc, etc.

I never imagined that all of these goals would be intertwined. 

For instance, did I realize that I could be a much nicer person if I wasn't worried about what everyone thought I looked like? No, I didn't, BUT now I do. 

So here's the deal. I want you to make a list. Make a list of the 10 most important things for you to do in the next few months.

Seriously... Make a list! Right now. The rest of this post won't help you if you don't make the list.

Got it? Now look at your list of 10, and see if one of those goals would unlock any of the others. Example: Is one of your goals to lose weight? Yes? Is another to eat healthier? Yes? there you have it, eating healthier would help you lose weight for sure. 

So take a good hard look at your list which on of those goals unlocks the most potential for reaching the rest of them? 

Let's call this the key goal. 

Now that you have your key goal, write it out like it is something you already do. Is your goal to read a new book every month? Rewrite it as, "I read a new book every month." Saying it like it is already true helps you commit to actually doing it. 

Why? Because you feel good saying that you accomplish your goals. Think about it: which makes you happier? "I go on a date with my spouse at least once per week" or "I want to go on a date with my spouse once per week." Stating that you have accomplished your goal gives you a quick glimpse into what it will feel like to achieve that goal.

Now, here is the BIG commitment. Put it out there. Don't tell yourself alone about your goals. Letting yourself down is not nearly as bad as other people knowing you didn't meet a goal. So find three people who you trust with your goal, and tell them in the next 4 hours what your goal is, and give yourself a deadline.

Finally, work at it! Don't just set the goal and do nothing. Keep yourself accountable. Write your accomplished goal down and put it somewhere you will see it! 

It's okay to be "that mom"

2016 is proving to be an interesting year already. From buying a new home and moving into it, to finding out the gender of our sweet baby #3 (Due in early August, but most likely appearing in July) it's been busy.

My two home based businesses (JJ Knowles Photography, and Pure Romance by Jenn) are taking off and I couldn't be happier for that. I'm only 2 more semesters from graduation with a double bachelor's degree, and my two boys are growing like weeds! I just can't believe that this little slice of Heaven is my life. It gets very hectic at times, but I wouldn't trade it for the world! I know that I am definitely biased, but I have the world's best husband, and the cutest kids. *sigh* For what this life is, this is perfection.

**Warning, shamelessly cute family picture in 3..2..1**

Of course there are the moments that I am that mom. You know the one who hasn't showered in a day or three, walking around in sweatpants and a t-shirt at Wal-Mart with a screaming child in the cart because he just fell asleep and smacked his forehead on the handrail in front of him (this literally happened 48 hours ago). I think we all get our chance to be that mom, and that is okay. It's a right of passage, and the one thing that unites all of momdom. Because no matter who it is that gets to be that mom, all of the others know where she is coming from, and that smile that you get in the store, it's not pity. It is the deepest understanding. It is the recognition that we have all been there and done that, and that, in the words of my mom "this too shall pass."

It amazes me each and every day though that any of us make it as mothers. With all of the judgement in the world, and contradicting studies that PROVE that every single one of us are wrong, it can be hard to decide how to raise a child. The struggle that goes into trying to make the best decision easily rival the struggle to decide what college to attend, or what profession to train in. These decisions impact the way that your children will see the world. They shape their actions for the rest of their lives. It's a huge deal that will weigh heavily on your mind long after the decision at it's implications are made. Raising a child is hard. Don't think for a moment it isn't. So to all of the struggling moms, I salute you!

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of moms on social media putting their best foot forward, and writing award winning blogs, or DIY-ing EVERYTHING in their home, while at the same time cloth diapering their children and never raising their voice. To those moms... kudos, and when you figure out how to bottle that, please let me know so I can borrow the recipe. The thing that I have learned though, is there is always someone "better" than each of us, that has the energy to wake up before the kids, and look perfect throughout the day, and have a sparkling home that doesn't show the tell-tale signs of children residing there, BUT we probably aren't seeing everything they are facing.  The snap shots on social media are just that. they are snapshots, glimpses, a glamour reel if you will. They don't show the whole story. So don't beat yourself up when you don't measure up to someone's "perfect" facade.

At the end of the day we each take off our make up (if we managed to put any on-I often don't) and take apart our reflection in the mirror. We dwell on the imperfections, and we struggle with the debate over whether or not we could have made a better choice during the day, or whether our actions will be the topics of our children's therapy sessions for years to come.

The advice that I can share for each of us, is just to cut ourselves some slack, because when we learn to cut ourselves some slack, we are much less likely to judge that mom. Because really... what does that even accomplish?

Stick with it momdom!