Intimacy is not a sin

One thing that has always sort of seemed off to me is the idea that we don't talk about our sex lives.

I'm not saying we should be giving the nitty gritty details to everyone. Don't get me wrong, that could get weird...


...But our spouse? We should absolutely be talking to each other about what we like, what we don't, what we would like to try, or have zero interest in trying.

So why don't we?


I'm going to give a religious thought here, so be warned...

I really truly believe that the adversary/Lucifer/Satan/what-ever-you-choose-to-call-him absolutely uses taboos on sex to drive us away from talking to our partners about something that shouldn't be scary.

He makes us feel "dirty" "guilty" "shameful" for wanting to be sexual beings in our homes with our spouses.

AND. WE. LET. HIM.


So why do we do that? Is it because our parents never really talked about it?

I think that as kids we grow up being told that sex is "bad unless you are married." "Wait until you're married." "Nobody wants gum that's already been chewed." Etc.

So we put a taboo on our sexuality and go into marriages pretty naïve.

We wonder what is okay to want, okay to do, okay to even talk about...

... and then we don't talk about it. We are afraid that our spouse will judge us, that they will think that we are dirty, or freaky, or sinners. Why are we afraid of our spouses judging us?

I think it's because we don't know what they will say, and they probably feel exactly the same way.

I also think it is a tool of the adversary to drive a wedge between spouses. There is no room for shame or guilt within an intimate relationship if you truly want it to flourish.

We need to start talking about this with our spouses.

*****

Breaking away from that thought for a moment, I wanted to share a few quotes from church publications. I'm LDS, so these will pertain to my faith directly. I also want to give the disclaimer that this is my understanding and is not meant to be considered church doctrine.

"Sexual Relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife." -The Church Handbook


"Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love within marriage." -True to the Faith


There are plenty more that blatantly explain how important intimacy is within a marriage. None of them tell you exactly how to, or how frequently, and this is one of the big reasons that I feel communication is so important.

We should be discussing with our spouses what we are looking for. It should be an open conversation that warrants revision from time to time as you go throughout life together.


***** If you found something valuable in this blog post, or have more in depth questions, I am happy to answer them either through comments, or email. Also if you find value in the type of information that I give from time to time, and would like to host your own educational ladies' night, let me know!